Election 2020 Debate

Democratic presidential candidate and former Housing and Urban Development Secretary Julian Castro gestures during a Democratic primary debate June 26 hosted by NBC News in Miami.

As debates go, the second Democratic one on June 27 wasn’t. A debate, that is.

All of these events — Democratic or Republican — are just glorified political ads. Still, I consider it my civic duty to watch them. So I settled down with a bag of chips and a diet ginger ale and braced myself for a long summer’s night of listening to plans for free college, free health care and free unicorns. I wasn’t prepared for the gift of Julian Castro.

It’s no secret that I’m a proud, card-carrying Deplorable Bible-thumping White Christian, a bitter clinger to religion and my husband’s father’s guns. So it should be no surprise that I view Democrats as being obsessed with recreational sex and the ability to get rid of what they see as its byproduct — babies. I tend to view Democrats as characters in Fellini’s “Satyricon”: one-dimensional and perhaps a bit weird. Castro’s response on abortion did not disappoint.

“Would your plan cover abortion?”

“Yes, it would,” replied Castro.

He could have stopped there, but he didn’t.

“I not only believe in reproductive freedom,” he said. “I also believe in reproductive justice.”

His voice rose on the last two words. The audience went wild.

Again, he could have stopped, but by now he was pumped. He went on to explain that reproductive justice should not only apply to a woman, but also to a trans female. “Just because she is poor that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t have the right to exercise that right to choose,” he said. “So I absolutely would cover the right to have an abortion”.

In fairness, Castro could have meant something else, but it appeared that he meant what he said. Whatever the case, we can pause to consider what a trans abortion would involve. Just follow the White Queen into the Socialist Wonderland where you can believe six impossible things before breakfast.

First, can a trans female get pregnant? Since she has no ovaries or a uterus, the answer is obviously no. But she can have a surrogate carry the baby. Fine. Until Mr. & Mrs. Trans split in the eighth month of pregnancy, change their minds about being parents, and decide on an abortion. Are they entitled to one? According to Castro, yes. In 1960 no one could imagine that one day a sperm donor would be suing a lesbian couple for parental rights. So, who knows? In a world where a man (Bruce) becomes a woman (Caitlyn) so he can have a partner (Sophia) who was once male (Scott), anything is possible. It doesn’t have to make sense.

Meanwhile, back at the debate, Castro said he would pass the Equal Rights Amendment. The ERA, for those who missed it, was the first amendment proposed since the Civil War to formally expire (in 1982) despite a 39-month extension. Opponents argued that — among other things — the ERA would open women to combat. Ironically, combat for women came about on its own. And what a coup for feminism!

I’m looking forward to more debates. Democrats are so much fun. Except for John Delaney, who had a reasoned position against Medicare for All. Don’t look for him to go anywhere. He’s not only too rational for Democrats, he’s bald. That’s just not Kennedyesque at all.

If the Democrats keep moving left, I’m afraid another Castro (Fidel’s brother) might show up at the next debate. In which case maybe they can get Jeff Foxworthy to moderate.

They can call it the Red Scare Comedy Tour.

I can hear it now. “If you think we’ll never run out of other people’s money, you just might be a socialist.”

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Community Editorial Board member Romaine Worster (virichrosie@gmail.com) lives in Greensboro with her wickedly funny and brilliant husband.