Stumble Stiltskins is part sports bar, part restaurant offering signature sandwiches, burgers and pub fare with a New England-themed flare.
Open for lunch, dinner and late night, it’s conveniently located within walking distance of all points in downtown Greensboro. Parking is limited to metered spaces on the street, but parking decks are not far, and of course, parking is free after 6 p.m. and on weekends and holidays.
Dimly lit by the glow of neon signs, lighted menu boards and TV screens, the sports bar has seating available in booths, at high-top tables and at the bar. The service can be spotty and slow at times, with servers not being knowledgeable of the menu, not acknowledging your group’s presence or completely ignoring the classic signs of wanting the check (in many places, that’s a raised hand and a furtive search for eye contact).
Other times, namely on the weekend, servers are attentive, fast, knowledgeable and accommodating.
Get ready for a big, bodacious menu with portions described as the same, paired with a plethora of drink specials and weeknight activities such as open mic night and bar trivia. The menu is very meat heavy with a large emphasis on extreme pub fare with cute names that refer to the owner, Chris Flathers, or New England-based epithets such as the Flatherweight Plate, (sliced grilled chicken, hummus, fresh vegetables), Connecticut Basil Press (grilled chicken, tomatoes, pesto, mozzarella on a pressed hoagie roll), or the Andrea Gail fish salad (named after a Massachusetts-based fishing vessel lost at sea, it features fried Alaskan cod, cucumbers, tomato, red onion, mushrooms and dried cranberries).
The appetizer menu has standard pub fare of nachos, fried pickles and two kinds of cheese dip, but a favorite of my group was the Southwest chicken egg rolls. I believe it was the combination of the hot, fried roll-up paired with the accompanying dipping sauce that made it a hit. Personally, there was but a hint of chicken and each roll was cut haphazardly in two pieces after being over-fried to a dark brown hue. The cool, creamy and slightly tangy dipping sauce saved the assault on my taste buds.
Served with your choice of french fries, potato chips, Tater Tots, potato salad, pasta salad, Greek-style pasta salad, carrots and celery or coleslaw, the burgers are your best bet. Whether you order from the build-your-own list of ingredients or pick one of the signature offerings, there is a lot from which to choose.
Six kinds of patties are available: turkey, ground chuck, chicken, veggie, Stumbles house blend or bison (for an extra charge). The Stumbles house blend is a mix of ground beef and pork. Heavily hand-packed and thick, almost like a brick, it’s the largest of the burger offerings and the most flavorful. The pretzel burger features the blended burger with grilled onions, sauerkraut, mustard, smoked Gouda on a warm, slightly toasted and soft, shiny pretzel bun.
The biggest, baddest burger on the menu is Dan-O’s Double Bacon Cheese Burger. It comes stacked with bacon, habanero, jack cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayo served between two toasty grilled cheese sandwiches. It’s a star attraction, and people should be embarking here from miles around to try it.
While the bar boasts more than 60 draft beers, cocktail specials most days of the week and almost 30 television screens, the varied and straightforward menu is what will bring me back to Stumble Stiltskins.