jou_rubiks-cubes_death-corp_062218

Send your entries to jokesonyou@greensboro.com by noon Wednesday, 062718

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Welcome to the News & Record’s “Jokes on You” page. Here is this week’s cartoon for your caption consideration, and last week’s cartoon and entries for you amusement (see below). Feel free to post comments and ask questions.

And as always, please, no wagering.

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Please remember to put your name on your entry! (If you’re a junior --- age 13 and under --- also remember to include your school or age.)

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A FAVOR …

Due to an “upgrade” (why are they even called that?) to our email system, I’ll have to ask everyone who sends by email to make sure your text is formatted as “plain text,” as opposed to HTML text or Rich text.

Also, starting this week, all the extra categories are going at the end, instead of at the beginning of the blog.

Thank you!

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A special thanks goes out to CC Cockerham for her personal note to me on how “The Joke’s on You” has helped lighten the day of several people she knows who really needed a lift. “The Joke’s on You.” It’s not just a contest. Sometimes it’s also therapy.

Next week’s cartoon: Last week’s cartoon was the Grim Reaper Corporation. This week’s cartoon - the one you’ll be writing captions for are the rubik’s cubes.

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WINNER

“Don’t forget, tomorrow is casual Friday!”

Rusty Morgan/Greensboro

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RUNNERS-UP

“So, who died and made YOU boss?”

Ken Cockerham, Greensboro

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“No more selfies with the customer!”

Mike Perry

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“Why in the world are you taking a CPR class?”

Bill Wallace

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“Well, of course people are always trying to cheat you!”

Tony Bean, Danbury

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“Sure the work is grim and the hours erratic. But the job security can’t be beat.”

Bill Furlow

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“You knew this was a dead-end job when we hired you.”

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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“I see you’ve really  been making a killing this month, Anderson.”

David Core, Greensboro

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“I just want to let you know, business has been very dead lately. Great job!”

David D., Winston-Salem

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HONORABLE MENTIONS (also getting a vote from the judges)

“I loved your personal motto: ‘I’m not a mourning person!’ Welcome to the firm!”

Mike Perry

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“Why would we need a retirement plan?”

Roy Forrest, Whitsett

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“Surveys show that people fear taxes more than us.”

Bill Wallace

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TIM’S PICK(S) My picks don’t mean what should have won, or gotten a runner-up, it’s just to spotlight what I think are good but over-looked captions. I loved these. Was very surprised they received no votes.

And then the guy says, “Hold my beer.”

Marla Bronstein

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"I mean it, stop bringing me road kill."

Mitch Poole, Mt. Juliet, TN

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THE REST

“Don’t judge me”

Kay Jones

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"Getting this executive position was a big undertaking."

Martha Eakes, Greensboro

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We needed 3. We have one each for Guilford and Rockingham County. You'll be Forsyth County!

I'm sorry, "The Meaning of Life' is next door.   We're auditioning for "Sling Blade!"

I'm sorry, but we have to terminate you!

Congratulations!  You had another banner year!

We have to terminate you - someone caught you smiling and put it on Facebook!

Good news from the Doctor- you x-rays didn't show anything!

This is directly from Upstairs! You're been assigned those two guys at Sonic!

We need more grim and less jolly!

No more selfies with the customer!

Congratulations!  We love your motto submission- "We're never late when it comes to your fate!"

I loved your personal motto- "I'm not a mourning person!"  Welscome to the firm!

The French Revolution- was that you??  Well, welcome to the firm

Mike Perry

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The Grim Reaper walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop!

Mike Perry, Eden

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'What's with the deadpan expression?"

Martha Eakes, Greensboro

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"You know you are late."

Martha Eakes, Greensboro

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“Great job! You’re killing it!”

Tim Tribbett

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“Turn up the heat. I like death warmed over.”

Tim Tribbett

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"You've been tolled - no knock-knock jokes!  You may exit with a whimper."

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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"You knew this was a dead-end job when we hired you."

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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This is a dead end job, and that's a good thing.

I see you've really  been making a killing this month Anderson.

They're all dead end leads you moron.

Head over to Pennsylvania Avenue and see who you can round up.

David Core, Greensboro

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"I'm not sure you can cut it here."

"I hear you were telling jokes and laughing in the breakroom."

"No victims? Head up to the observation platform."

"Nice robe....who's your tailor?"

"You slay me!"

"Due to your efforts, we've doubled the death-rate!"

"You can speed things up by hiding their medications."

"You've been selected for the 'Pale Rider' award this year."

"By the way, happy death-date!"

"You lack the killer instinct."

"Take the subway - no one will notice you."

"You took an Uber to get here and let the driver survive?"

"Our motto is 'Short, sharp strokes eliminate folks'."

"You're below quota. Go unplug some life-support machines."

"Remember when we were known as the 'Gruesome Twosome'?"

"Thanks to all the red-light runners, this has been a banner year."

"Are you the moron that suggested Swiss Army knives?"

"You may have a point. Light-sabers would be more efficient."

"Surveys show that people fear taxes more than us."

"Why in the world are you taking a CPR class?"

"Head over to the bridge and encourage the jumpers."

"This is what you might call a dead-end job."

"It's too late for any face-saving gestures."

"Merging with all-you-can-eat restaurants was a great idea!"

"This office blows a hole in our bare-bones budget!"

"Before the victim realizes we're not monks, it's too late."

Bill Wallace

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"Be not proud - your Yelp reviews suck."

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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" I justed wanted to clarify something with you. Just because people are dying to meet you doesn't make you our top employee."

David D., Winston-Salem

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"So you insisted on learning CPR, now I have to lay you off."

David D., Winston-Salem

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" I just wanted to let you know, last months buisiness has been very dead. Great job!"

David D., Winston-Salem

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"I just want to let you know, buisiness has been very dead lately. Great job!"

David?D., Winston?Salem

"We've received a decease and desist order - no more singing 'So Long,

Farewell' on assignments."

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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"You created quite a kerfuffle by attending the premiere of 'Tag.'"

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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You're quitting to become a farmer?

You're just a few short of your quota, so knock 'em dead today!

We have to let you go, but the IRS is hiring!

Beware of mistakes.  There could be reaper-cussions!

You knew this was a dead end job when we hired you!

Mike Perry, Eden

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Calling yourself Ice-T doesn't make you a Grim Rapper!

Mike Perry, Eden

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 “Don’t forget, tomorrow is casual Friday!”

Rusty Morgan/Greensboro

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There's a population boom. That time off really set us back.

Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

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"Wonder why we always have the elevator to ourselves?"

"I  heard you just bought a new home in Death Valley."

"My latest prospect is on Death Row at the prison."

"Your job title will be End-of-Life Facilitator."

"We're just two faceless public servants."

"What do you mean, you've had a death in the family?"

"Bereavement leave is not one of the perks here."

"I'm not good with names, but your face is familiar."

"Ironically, we're listed as part of the Health Department."

"The stupidest thing I've ever heard is 'Lifetime Guarantee'."

"We'll have to keep swiping these until we get the upgrade."

"A promotion? You don't have a ghost of a chance."

"Forget phone calls - we're in a dead-zone here."

"My two favorite movies? Ghost and Beetlejuice."

"A machete would be more useful, but less dramatic."

"Leave that here. It won't fit in the overhead bin on your flight."

Bill Wallace

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I’m being replaced by a combine harvester.

I don’t even like chess.

What are these poles for anyway?

That ageless existential question  - to wear under-clothes or not?

You’ll find the IRS organization is very similar to this one.

Keith Peddie, Greensboro

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Here, pull my finger

And then the guy says, “Hold my beer.”

You got a little schmutz on your face.

Marla Bronstein

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All my clients seem to have a death wish, so it must be my high fees!

Marvin Sager, rockville, md.

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We've been getting complaints that you're posting selfies with your victims online!

Mike Perry, Eden

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As your guidance counselor, please rethink massage therapy.

Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

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Well, you've finished your apprenticeship.

You're bleak, depressing, even a good dour reaper.  But grim- not so much!

Altoona today, Poughkeepsie tomorrow and rest of the month in Chicago!

We didn't hire you to be a chill reaper!

I know you feel alright, but let's wait for the x-rays!

Failure to meet your quota will be met with grim repercussions!

Mike Perry, Eden

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The owner's on his way up, so don't look alive.

David Core, Greensboro

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Casket sales are down--let's get busy.

Geez, don't you ever knock!

We need to increase production on the graveyard shift.

So, what's on your kick the bucket list today?

There's too much dead weight around here.

We just got a large order in from the man downstairs.

The job doesn't pay much, but it's a living.

I need to know how many skeletons are in your closet before I hire you.

Pat Foley, Homer Glen, Ill.

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1.  "First, the world is not one big family.  Second, your FMLA request is denied."

2.  "Stop applying for bereavement leave whenever someone close to you dies."

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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"We're consolidating certainties by moving you into the tax department."

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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"You need to remove 'people person' from your Facebook account."

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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"Stop photobombing weddings."

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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1.  "Now let's talk about the reason you were the Last Comic Standing."

2.  "When we approved your request to appear on 'Survivor,' we said no cheating."

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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"You're transferring to the Canadian office, so you'll need to practice saying 'sorey.'"

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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"This job will be the death of me."

"I am never the life of the party."

"I was knocking on heaven's door."

"You know I wait for no one."

"Cigarettes are a wonderful invention."

Steve Styers, Greensboro.

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“Nice job bonehead!”

Tim Tribbett

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"It's really fun if you just show up at a wedding or birthday."

Mike Riley, Jamestown

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Something has to change.  Our customer service is lacking!

Welcome to the firm.  Now get out there and knock 'em dead!

Oh-just a reminder- tomorrow is casual Friday!

Mike Perry, Eden

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“HR says you aren’t touching people.”

Tim Tribbett

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“No to casual Fridays.”

Tim Tribbett

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“You’re more of a ‘Dim Reaper’.”

Tim Tribbett

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“Are you sure we didn’t already do Keith Richards?”

Tim Tribbett

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“I’m the guy who brought in Bobby Fischer!”

Tim Tribbett

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“Tell them to ‘decease and desist’.”

Tim Tribbett

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“No, no … life gives them lemons.”

Tim Tribbett

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“Over my live body!”

Tim Tribbett

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“I’m demoting you to goldfish.”

Tim Tribbett

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You're our first female rep, and in your honor, you will be known as a "femme fatale!"

Lighten up!  You're bringing everyone down!

You just can't touch people wherever you want!

Do you play golf, Richard?

Good work, young lady.  Would you like to finish this over dinner?

Mike Perry, Eden

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The "kiss is death" is symbolic, not literal. This is your last chance!

Mike Perry, Eden

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You knew this job was a dead end job when you were hired!

Mike Perry, Eden

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#1:    "Welcome to every corporate office in America!"

#2:    "You're fired!"

#3:    "I'm telling you!  It's still on my bucket list!  Just once, I want to see IHM's choir play 'Darth Vader's Theme' as Father Joe processes out of Mass!"

#4:    "It is We who determine which Joke's On You entries get printed in the newspaper and which ones end up in the scrap heap titled, 'The Rest!'"

#5:    "Go out and get those cartoonists who 'unintentionally' repeat their own cartoons!"

#6:    "Say what you want about our character, but you've got to give us credit for one thing.  We keep an awfully nice, neat, clean, tidy office!"

#7:    "What do you mean, 'We keep an awfully nice, neat, clean, tidy office?'  First of all, this isn't our office.  Secondly, 'keeping an awfully nice, neat, clean, tidy office' is really what's known as, 'hiding the evidence!'"

Paul J. Klosterman, High Point

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Tell me- why would Terminix be calling me for a reference on you?

Mike Perry, Eden

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"We've had too much sowing and not enough reaping outta you!"

Larry Parrish,  Piety Hill

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1. What do you mean "this is your last day"?

2."Well, oh course people are always trying to cheat you"!

3. "I'm sending you to Cleveland to the NBA Championship series "!

4. " We need to try the new restaurant on the corner, I heard the food is too die for"!

5. " Glad your back, and sorry to hear you were feeling well"!

6. "Keep up the good work you might just make employee of the month"!

Tony Bean, Danbury

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"Congratulations! You've been promoted from natural disaster to pandemic plague ! "

Jonathan Sparrow-Greensboro

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Sure the work is grim and the hours erratic. But the job security can't be beat.

Bill Furlow

I'm assigning you the next catastrophe.  You need to get your numbers up.

No, death can't take a holiday.

I need you to be more deadly serious about your work.

I'm getting complaints you're not grim enough.

I'm glad you're happy in your work, but no smiling.

Did you tell the last guy he was a dead ringer for Elvis?

You're planning the office Christmas party this year.

It's not a good idea for you to volunteer at the retirement home.

So, how are the wife and kids?

Remember, zombies are considered incomplete assignments.

No, zombies are not considered works in progress.

What do you mean someone wants a refund?

You have a thank you note here from some woman's husband.

Your trip to D.C. did wonders for the country.

Fox News called.  They want you to come on the show and help them kill the truth.

President Trump called.  He wants you to kill the Russian investigation.

Our new death app is going to be a killer.

Why would we need a retirement plan?

OSHA says the scythes have to go.  We're upgrading to weed eaters.

Everyone is going to have to pick up the pace.  We're diversifying into funeral homes.

We're having trouble getting contestants for our new reality show, "No Survivors."

I hear you tried to take a commercial flight.  How did that work out?

You next assignment is a Grey Poupon overdose at the deli down the street.

Tim Rickard used an old cow cartoon last week.  Go pay him a visit.

We need to hire some guy named Tim Rickard.  I hear he's slowly killing a bunch of Captioners.

Roy Forrest, Whitsett

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"Our client-base consists of a bunch of dead-beats."

"I need a jump - my battery is dead."

"It's simple - people go down, your pay goes up."

"The only thing lower than us are credit counselors."

"Come to my shindig - you'll be the death of the party!"

"You took out Brown instead of Browner, making you dead-wrong."

"Maybe having a face-to-face wasn't such a good idea."

"You get the plum assignment of a retirement community in Florida."

"The guy was an ex-cop. You took a scythe to a gunfight!"

"You ARE using the end with the blade, aren't you?"

"These are also great for street-hockey."

"Did I see you using that to prune a tree in your yard?"

"Would you be interested in joining our synchronized-scythe squad?"

Bill Wallace

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No. We're not going to have any "merry" reapers.

Bill Furlow

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Yeah, you can go home. It's kinda dead around here.

You want to create a laundry detergent called the "Grime Reaper?"

Joe's been scaring his kids, so go hide in his closet tonight.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

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"We're getting upgrades to riding mowers!"

"This is no way to run a lawn-maintenance company."

"It takes an eternity to do our yards with these things.!"

"Even the Amish have moved on from these."

"Plus, hardly anybody knows the correct spelling for these."

"We should emulate the horror movies and use chain-saws."

"Building security is suspicious, but isn't sure what these are."

"I'm tired of old-school - let's get string-trimmers!"

Bill Wallace

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1.  "PR wants you to make a film about our snuff operation."

2.  "We're moving you to the graveyard shift in Forscythe County."

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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"Now go out there and knock em dead!"

Thank you!!   Mandy Tadder, Flagstaff, AZ

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You look like death warmed over

How’s the Grey Poupon embalmer working ?

Go make hay while the sun shines

How’s the new crop looking ?

Don’t make any bones about it

The company is as lean as it ever has been

Go out and bring me some warm bodies

Remember our motto- lean and mean

This is no laughing matter

Why so serious ?

I have all the time in the world

The health plan is not working ? Great.

We’ll see who has the last laugh

You’ve been looking pale lately

Give me your report. I hope it’s grim

What is it ? Can’t you let me Rest In Peace ?

You’ve got the graveyard shift

I don’t see any evil

Isn’t there any good news ?

I want names

Lee F Richmond, Jamestown

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"Did you see that guy jerk my hood back to see who's under there?  They're still working on him with smelling salts."

"My ghoul friend said I looked like Death warmed over.  I had to tell her.... I am."

Patsy Sadler,  Chino Valley, AZ

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Check in at the Holideath Motel.

"You say you feel awful.  That's wonderful news!"

"Go look in a mirror and you will see why I'm concerned."

"You're giving me that look again!"

"Ha!  You should have seen the expression on your face."

Mitch Poole, Mt. Juliet, TN

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We need more than Crazy Hat Day to boost morale.

Pull my finger. What's the worst that could happen?

Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

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“No, your employee benefits package does not include life insurance.”

 Andee Gable, Greensboro

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Bambi's mother- Really? That was a piece of art!  Welcome to the firm!

Mike Perry, Eden

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“Again?! Mandatory chess lessons NOW!”

Tm Tribbett

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“You’re killing me.”

“I’m dying to fire you.”

“People don’t fear you.”

“Quick looking on the bright side.”

“Your fatality rate is too low.”

Phil Valla, Greensboro

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"Why the blank stare?  Did I say something?"

"Why the long face?"

"I mean it, stop bringing me road kill."

"I mean it, stop giving me that look."

"You're giving me that blank stare again."

Mitch Poole, Mt. Juliet, TN

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"Hi,  I'm here to get over my fear of public speaking."

"Pardon me.... but do you have any Grey Poupon?"

No, Deathwish Finals are down the hall and to the right."

"Is this where I sign in for the 'Get One For the Gipper' Seminar?"

"Excuse me, but are you here to recycle your sickle for a scythe?"

"The Sign-up sheet for who becomes Boss after I die, is over there."

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

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"So, Who died and Made YOU Boss?"

Ken Cockerham, Greensboro

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 Well, I guess you might say we're an escort service.

I think we made a mistake putting you in Customer Satisfaction!

You feel cheated?

We're looking for a person that is good at making deadlines!

Mike Perry, Eden

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"You're My Doppelganger??"

"Ola. Sorry, but the Festival for the Day off the Dead was LAST week."

"YES, INDEED!! This is IT  if you're here for the 'We put the GRIM in Reaper' Seminar."

"Wow, you're a Dead Ringer for someone I used to know."

"You must be here for the "Grim No More!!" Seminar by Tony Robbins."

"Scythe repair is down the hall, 4th door on the left."

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

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 “So you’re looking for a different line of work?”

David Shoulberg, Greensboro

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You're just the man we need.  It seems we can't find Waldo!

I see you listed Dr. Kevorkian as a character witness!

Business is so good, we're giving you a line of credit with John Deere!

Mike Perry, Eden

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"Checking in for the 'Don't Fear the Reaper' conference?....By any chance, are you from Kansas??"

"...The "Don't Fear the Reaper"series? ....you from Kansas??  Lucky Guess."

"Check in is Over There for the 'Don't Fear the Reaper' Seminar.  Hey! By any chance, you from Kansas??"

"YOU're From Kansas?  Well, let me tell you about our 'Don't Fear the Reaper' buffet! And Tomb Service is included!!"

".....And to request Tomb Service, just dial 4."

"Mr. Reaper.  Mr. G. Reaper?   GRIM?  Is that YOU, buddy???  Long time, no see!!!"

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

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"Will you be requesting Dry Cleaning? Scythe sharpening? Black-out curtains? Tomb Service? I'll be here all week."

"Hey.... You aren't here for ME, are you??    May I suggest that you run the Facial Recognition check?  I've got one of those faces..."

"NO... I don't think you're here for ME.  I would have seen my name on the list!!"

"YOU think you're Here for ME??  I'm here, waiting for YOU!!   Wait.... is this a joke?"

"Did they TELL YOU we'd BOTH be Needed??? People must be just dying to get in here!!"

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

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"I Don't Care if You ARE Just Playing Through to pick-up someone; No One Goes on the course Without a Collar!!"

"I Don't Care if You ARE Just Playing Through; No One Goes on the course Without a Collar!!"

"So you really Are here just for the 'Better Scythe Skills for a Better Harvest'?? WHEW!!  That's a Relief!!!"

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

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Do not forget, the quality meeting is at 3 p.m.

Robert Waldrop, High Point

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Go back and get him! No one says they are ready to go!

Second door on the left.

You look like me, when I came to work here.

Joey Pellino, Reidsville

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BEST POEMS

There's two things on which you can depend.

You'll be taxed on the money you spend.

     And it's really quite clear

     You may live many years,

You'll be met by these two in the end.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

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High-Rise Reapers

Here's the leader of the Grim Reapers Corporation,

giving instructions on how to decimate the nation.

There are many underlings to do his evil bidding,

their appearance and demeanor is very fitting.

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They have a mission that is morbid and ghastly;

reduce the population both efficiently and fastly.

These two are discussing how best to administer

this program with goals that are dark and sinister.

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You might call this project a major undertaking;

the very concept leaves most mortals quaking.

We abet their enterprise with all our bad habits,

then at the end, we evolve into scared rabbits.

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Smoking and drinking help make their job easy,

as does eating of French fries and burgers greasy.

At the idea of exercise we contemptuously scoff,

making it relatively simple to knock us all off.

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We scarf down pills to delay the bitter end;

make New Year's resolutions again and again.

Look for a scapegoat to take all the blame,

expect different results when we act the same.

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Don't be surprised if this guy comes your way,

intent on terminating your short earthly stay.

You can put up a fight or else go real quiet;

it's probably too late to consider that diet.

Bill Wallace

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Tag Team

These two hooded denizens of the dark underworld

have decided to join forces, placing us all in peril.

Their combined talents will be a deadly one-two punch,

intent on doing serious damage and eating our lunch.

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But organizational ability is something they lack;

that explains why they're called Frick and Frack.

They're currently discussing a lethal maneuver;

some poor, hapless soul they intend to skewer.

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They're trying to decide on a basic game-plan;

should their unlucky quarry be woman or man?

Their overarching aim is to minimize the hassle;

with the victim they simply can't afford to wrestle.

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The obvious choice should be an easy no-brainer,

except that they hit on an athletic personal trainer.

No bigger than a minute, she's nonetheless strong;

it's an uneven battle, and it doesn't last very long.

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Even with weapons that were once used on farms

these two feckless demons can do her no harm.

Her valiant resistance no doubt saves future lives,

leaving her with trophies of two robes and two scythes.

Bill Wallace

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Dead-Heads

With obituaries multiplying in all the newspapers,

these Reapers have leased space in a skyscraper.

Business is good -  life's just a big bowl of cherries,

as long as their clients end up in the cemeteries.

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These two hooded figures certainly appear ghoulish,

but their decisions can sometimes be very foolish.

There's a dark void where they should have a head,

indicating these wraiths are most likely brain-dead.

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That would account for their weapons of choice,

and explain why these specters both lack a voice.

When they encounter a victim carrying a gun,

their only good option is to turn tail and run.

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That can be tricky as they're wearing long garments;

their feet tend to get tangled, tripping these varmints.

In silent slow-motion they tumble to the hard ground,

hoping the would-be victim doesn't get off a round.

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It never enters their mind that they're already dead;

that's the normal result when you don't have a head.

It's too bad that most Reapers are much more clever;

with clowns like these, we'd probably live forever.

Bill Wallace

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THIS WEEK’S JOY “WALKS INTO A BAR” JOKES

A grim reaper walks into a bar every night at midnight.  All  the customers in the place take one look at him and run screaming out the back door.  The bartender shakes his head and mutters softly,  "That guy is going to be the death of this place."

Roy Forrest, Whitsett

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Two grim reapers walk into a bar and everyone there drops dead.  One reaper looks at the other and says, "Dang!  You would think we could get one hour off for a couple of beers."  The other reaper looks around at all the bodies on the floor and says, "Look on the bright side.  We can drink for free while we do the extra paperwork."

Roy Forrest, Whitsett

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Every Saturday night a grim reaper walks into a bar and gets up on stage to sing karaoke.  He stands there for five minutes without making a sound. When he steps away from the mike everyone jumps to their feet clapping and

shouting.  One guy at the bar looks at the bartender and says, "Why the heck is everyone clapping and shouting for that guy?  He never made a sound." The bartender says, "Do you want to be the one to tell him he sucks at karaoke?"

Roy Forrest, Whitsett

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The Grim Reaper walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop!

Mike Perry, Eden

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Two older ladies are standing having a conversation one day. One of them sees something in the distance and says "look at that jackass." The other lady replies "you're as blind as a bat - that's a horse." To which the other lady replies "I'm talking about the man on the horse."

Alvin Breeden

(OK, it’s not a “Two guys walk into a bar” gag, but what the heck.)

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BEST INSIDE JOKE

"It is We who determine which Joke's On You entries get printed in the newspaper and which ones end up in the scrap heap titled, 'The Rest!'"

"Go out and get those cartoonists who 'unintentionally' repeat their own cartoons!"

Paul J. Klosterman, High Point

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You next assignment is a Grey Poupon overdose at the deli down the street.

Tim Rickard used an old cow cartoon last week.  Go pay him a visit.

We need to hire some guy named Tim Rickard.  I hear he's slowly killing a bunch of Captioners.

Roy Forrest, Whitsett

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How’s the Grey Poupon embalmer working?

Lee F Richmond, Jamestown

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"Pardon me.... but do you have any Grey Poupon?"

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

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BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE

This is directly from Upstairs! You're been assigned those two guys at Sonic!

Mike Perry

It’s about time

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BEST/WORST PUNS

Beware of mistakes. There could be reaper-cussions!

Calling yourself Ice-T doesn't make you a Grim Rapper!

Mike Perry, Eden

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You want to create a laundry detergent called the "Grime Reaper?"

Ken Sheldon, Elon

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"We're moving you to the graveyard shift in Forscythe County."

Scott Tredwell, Advance

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".....And to request Tomb Service, just dial 4."

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

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BEST EARWORMS

"Check in is Over There for the 'Don't Fear the Reaper' Seminar.  Hey! By any chance, you from Kansas??"

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

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