jou_adam-eve-amazon_goldilocks-debate_030620

Send your entries to jokesonyou@greensboro.com by noon Wednesday, March 11

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Welcome to the News & Record’s “Jokes on You” page. Here is this week’s cartoon for your caption consideration, and last week’s cartoon and entries for you amusement (see below). Feel free to post comments and ask questions.

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And as always, please, no wagering.

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Please remember to put your name on your entry! (If you’re a junior --- age 13 and under --- also remember to include your school or age.)

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Last week’s cartoon was Goldilocks and a bear debate. Next week’s cartoon - the one you’ll be writing captions for is – Adam and Eve ordering on Amazon.

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WINNER

“One’s too far left, the other is too far right.  What we need is a candidate that is juuuust right!”

Mike Perry, Eden

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RUNNERS-UP

“Heard she was caught for breaking and entering!”

Tony Bean, Danbury

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“I doubt the stock market would do well with him in office.”

Debra Watson, Eden

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“I can’t believe he ate the moderator!”

Bill Wallace

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“She’s avoiding the home invasion question.”

Rusty Morgan, Greensboro

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“The race is less crowded now that Hansel and Gretel dropped out.”

Lisa Meyerhoffer, Greensboro

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“I’m just watching for the inevitable mauling.”

Tim Tribbett

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“How can she lead when she gets lost in the woods so easily?”

Roy Forrest, Whitsett

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“She already took down the bull, in the primary.”

Bill Davis

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HONORABLE MENTIONS (also getting a vote from the judges)

“I don’t think either of them is just right.”

Debra Watson, Eden

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“He says she broke in, she’s calling it entrapment.”

Bill Wallace

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Goldie just told Poppa Bear that his stand on tax reform is too soft.

Mandy Tadder, Flagstaff , AZ

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If he says “bear with me” one more time, he’s lost my vote

Patsy Sadler, Chino Valley, az

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How long can they talk about porridge? What about more important things like chairs or bed comfort or home security?

Brady Rosenbluth, Greensboro

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TIM’S PICK(S) My picks don’t necessarily mean what should have won, or gotten a runner-up, it’s just to spotlight what I think are good but over-looked captions. Yeah, it’s Tribbett again, but I just thought this was clever.

“He’s more of a pander bear.”

Tim Tribbett

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BEAT THE CARTOONIST

When I come up with a cartoon idea, I test it out first by trying to think of different captions that could go with it. Here are a few I came up with.

I think her position on crime is tooo soft!

She promises that her administration will be juuuust right.

They both have good points. She’s got a good economic platform, he can rip someone’s arms off.

Her opponent seems to be hibernating through this debate.

They both have porridge platforms. It’s just whose is going to be just right?

It’s going to be tough for her to move past the porridge-gate scandal.

She makes a good point. Just what IS it he does in the woods?

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THE REST

I have a idea. All I know is she is a woman and she’s blonde.

Judy Crotchett Greensboro

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This matchup is just right.

J. C. Winkler, Asheboro

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“I hate to be the bear of bad news, but I am going to win this debate!”

Teresa Bean, Greensboro

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A good security system would have stopped her cold.

Again the youth suffer the results of the older generation's decisions.

She deserves the bears' stuff? She must like Bernie...

Where were her parents while all this happened?

Sounds like breaking and entering to me...

Ken Sheldon, Elon

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1. She should ask him about that going in the woods questions!

2. He’ll be too hard but she will be just right!

3. I’ve heard they both have a porridge use problem!

4. Do we vote for the cute type or the warm fuzzies ?

5. Heard she was caught for breaking and entering!

6. I told you politics were like a bunch of fairy tales! 

7. Get ready for some good stories!

8. I bet the opening statement is “ Once upon a time”!

Tony Bean, Danbury

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Seems to me they live in a fairy-tale world!

Mike Perry, Eden

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"They're vying for a cabinet-level position in the Department of Porridge."

"I can't believe he ate the moderator!"

"This is turning into a 'he said / she said' argument."

"I love the way she pooh-poohs his responses."

"They're both running hot and cold over the issues."

"He came out of hibernation for this."

"He's bringing up her criminal record for trespassing."

"She's accusing him of running an unlicensed bread-and-breakfast."

"One mic is too loud, the other is too soft."

"The Mother Goose network is broadcasting this."

"This is evolving into a fairy tale."

"She says her podium is too high."

"He'll definitely get the back-to-nature vote."

"She's wearing an ankle bracelet due to the incident."

"He says she broke in, she's calling it entrapment."

"He'll try to sway voters by bringing the baby on stage."

"Choosing Wolf Blitzer to moderate was brilliant!"

Bill Wallace

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Did she say the podium is too big!

Mike Perry, Eden

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Porridge in every pot?

Mike Perry, Eden

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She's attacking his character.  It seems she slept in his bed and his wife divorced him!

Mike Perry, Eden

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“I think ‘just right’ is very subjective.”

Tim Tribbett

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“I don’t buy that she’s part bear.”

Tim Tribbett

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Is the topic "too hot, too cold" or "too soft, too hard"?

Jack MacDowall, Greensboro

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It's not like she was in his chair or his bed or ate his porridge.  She hacked into his email, and that's just wrong!

Mike Perry, Eden

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He's got my vote!  She was too pro this, too anti-that. But in the end.........he was just right!

Mike Perry, Eden

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I have it on good authority that both of them were sleeping in the same bed!

Mike Perry, Eden

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"Everyone from Chicago is on his side."

"Instead of 'Me, Too', she's going with the 'Who, Me?' defense.

"This reminds me of the Hillary and Trump debate."

"What's the point? The statute of limitations has run out."

"He should thank her for the publicity."

"She's setting a bear-trap for him."

"I think her dress is a little too red."

"He's lying like a rug!"

Bill Wallace

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It's not a hard choice- she's too hard or soft, too hot or cold.  But him?  He's always just right!

Mike Perry, Eden

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It sounds like they're both trying to sell us a fairytale.

Fairytales are fake news.

I'm shocked about their knowledge of geo politics.

Goldilocks represents the middle.

Goldilocks keeps stealing ideas.

Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

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And Poppa Bear, how effective could you be as President when you hibernate 6 months of the year?

And Goldilocks, how do you respond to

“free porridge for everyone”?

Mitch Poole, Mt. Juliet, TN

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Switch channels, now !

Frank Leonard, Lexington

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Hit the mute button, please !

Frank Leonard, Lexington

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How does she know he's a Russian bear ?

Frank Leonard, Lexington

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If she's a Catholic, then I'm Jesus !

Frank Leonard, Lexington

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Want to go out to a movie ?

Frank Leonard, Lexington

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Think we should go back to having a King instead ?

Frank Leonard, Lexington

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Wonder if he will give her a hug at the end ?

Frank Leonard, Lexington

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Politics sure makes strange bedfellows !

Frank Leonard, Lexington

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She already took down the bull, in the primary.

Bill Davis

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"Her 'If the chair does not fit, you must acquit' defense makes sense to me."

"She's trying to catch him in a bear-faced lie."

"This is not headed for a story-book ending."

"He'll learn never to argue with a woman."

"This makes more sense than the Democratic one."

"Dumb bear should have got DNA samples."

"She has a point - why didn't they have a security system?"

"She's right....everyone knows a den is for relaxing in."

"The panel of mediators is the Three Little Pigs."

"I think Mama Bear is yelling 'Lock her up!'."

"The only thing I've learned is that porridge sucks."

Bill Wallace

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 “I heard her defense is “just right”.

Marcia James, Jamestown

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"She's sharp - I never would have thought of the squatter's rights defense."

"Leaving a dollar on the pillow bolsters her 'hotel' argument."

"She has video of him breaking into a tent."

"The FOX network may be onto something here."

"She claims she was just following the script."

"Good point, Poppa Bear - why didn't she check GPS?"

Bill Wallace

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Looks like a case of porridge haves, and porridge have nots.

She’s eats his food, sleeps in his bed, and she says she’s not a socialist?

She’s stronger in the cuteness polls.

She’s blaming him for the latest bear market.

Her attacks on him for causing the latest bear market seem unfair.

She was half right when she called him a “bear-faced liar”.

His point about her criminal past is well taken.

They should try to find some common ground like soup instead of arguing about porridge.

I’m not sure her claim of fake news concerning the house break-in is valid.

Did he just say, “Lock up Locks”?

Did he just say, “Lock her up’?

How can she lead when she gets lost in the woods so easily?

I like his point about her tendency to steal when lost in the woods.

Did you notice she has as much hair as our current president.

It used to be Democrats and Republicans.  Now it’s Curls and Critters.

I don’t care for her free porridge for all platform.

Her accretion that he’s a Russian bear seems weak.

If he had loaded that porridge up with Grey Poupon we wouldn’t be here.

I hear they have teamed up on a new line of instant porridges.

Congratulations Tim on your recent award.

Roy Forrest, Whitsett

Thanks, Roy!

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"Are you kidding...did he just say 'porridge for all'"

Beth Carroll, Greensboro

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Being able to determine what's "just right" will win the race for Goldilocks.

Goldilocks is still under investigation on claims of breaking and entering,vandalism, and unapproved food sampling.

Goldie just told Poppa Bear that his stand on tax reform is too soft.

Mandy Tadder, Flagstaff , AZ

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"I didn't realize bears had property rights."

"The Cub fan in me is pulling for him."

"Notice his resemblance to Harvey Weinstein?"

"He reminds me of your mother."

"It's like Wild Kingdom meets LA Law."

"He's smarter than your average bear."

Bill Wallace

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Sorry I forgot my contact info:

"Are you kidding....'did he just say 'porridge for all'"

Beth Carroll, Greensboro

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You know what she was before politics?  A food critic-that's what!

Mike Perry, Eden

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 “I’m sick of ‘PorridgeGate’.”

Tim Tribbett

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 “I think ‘just right’ is very subjective.”

Tim Tribbett

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"Putin's influence over our elections has gone too far."

Philippe Wiener,  Greensboro

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Do I find  this debate strange?  In a normal election cycle-  Yes.  But absolutely nothing surprises me during this campaign!

Mike Perry, Eden

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Caption Correction

"She's accusing him of operating an unlicensed bed-and-breakfast."

Bill Wallace

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One's too far left, the other is too far right.  What we need is a candidate that is juuuust right!

Mike Perry, Eden

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Volume up, volume down, now that's just right !

Frank Leonard, Lexington

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To grill or not to grill, that is the question.

CathieJo Childs

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Yes, it is strange!  They've agreed to act civil. However, she does have a copy of his speech to tear up if needed!

Mike Perry, Eden

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I know how to fix all these debates-  rock, paper, scissors!

Mike Perry, Eden

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He prefers Charmin Ultra Soft, she doesn't!

Mike Perry, Eden

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“That was just a bear faced lie.”

Tim Tribbett

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“Do we really need more porridge regulations?”

Tim Tribbett

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 “Taxpayers will pay for that so called FREE porridge.”

Tim Tribbett

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“This seems personal.”

Tim Tribbett

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“He should ask her to define ‘just right’.”

Tim Tribbett

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“She has a criminal history of breaking and entering.”

Tim Tribbett

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“They’ll take my porridge from my cold dead hands!”

Tim Tribbett

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“A spoon doesn’t scald people. Hot porridge does.”

Tim Tribbett

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“He should ask her to define ‘just right’.”

Tim Tribbett

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I think this match up is just right.

Her opponent's platform is not too big or too small--it's just right.

This election is one big fairy tale.

This election feels like a fairy tale.

Hansel and Gretel debate next week.

Politicians are always more fiction than fact.

I hope they sum up their platform with a good moral at the end.

Hansel and Gretel dropped out of the race last week.

These politicians are always telling a bunch of fables.

The race is less crowded now that Hansel and Gretel dropped out.

I don't think porridge at the right temperature and a bed that you fit into is the best platform.

I think their platforms are just made up stories.

Lisa Meyerhoffer, Greensboro

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She’s for free food and housing for all, and he’s for better home security.

She wants to put a chicken in every pot, and he wants to put her in a pot.

He has accused her of being an illegal immigrant in the forest.

The bear is proposing building a wall around the forest and have the blonde pay for it.

With her record, I’m not sure the kid is really a strong law and order candidate.

He says she just wants to feed at the public trough, and I think he’s got a point.

She just accused him of unsafe food practices in his home.

I bet if she’s elected, she’ll have the FDA ban too hot and too cold porridge.

The bear has made a billion dollars in the home security industry.

Did you see the YouTube video he posted of her breaking into his house?

Roy Forrest, Whitsett

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1. It’s a rerun from 2016.

2. Sheee’s back!

3. Which one’s  the elephant and which one’s the donkey?

4. She accused him of calling her “honey”. He was talking about what he had for lunch.

5. He wants to be reimbursed for all the porridge she ate.

6. He says “bigger is better”. She says “ dynamite comes in small packages”

Dave Sheets, Greensboro

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The Masked Singer's producers put this on? I bet the bear's Bernie.

They're the only two they could find to run for office.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

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“I read she has a criminal history.”

Tim Tribbett

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“I don’t even like porridge.”

Tim Tribbett

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 “Did he just call her Goofy Goldie?”

Tim Tribbett

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“I hear she sleeps around.”

Tim Tribbett

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" That bear is with the Russian Porridge Cartel."

Jonathan Sparrow, Greensboro

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“She’s more civilized on the bathroom issue.”

“He’s strong on the environment.”

“She’s not too far left or right but somewhere in the middle.”

”She’s avoiding the home invasion question.”

“I believe he will lead us into a bear market.“

“Didn’t the other guy have goldilocks too?”

“I wish they would quit talking about porridge!”

Rusty Morgan, Greensboro

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"This is unbearable"

"Bear with him, he's new to politics"

"2nd Amendment debate, this outta be bear-y interesting"

Kristi Wallace, Greensboro

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"Looks like Bernie forgot to shave over the weekend."

"The kid knows her stuff - claims he violated Air B&B guidelines."

"He has a distracting habit of scratching his butt."

"To compete on cute, he should bring in the cub."

"She's complaining he smells like salmon."

Bill Wallace

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If she just hadn't broken that chair!

Young and stupid is no excuse'

Why was she alone in the forest in the first place?

I thought it was nice of them to leave the door open!

She doesn't look that innocent to me!

She's lucky she's not debating Mama Bear!

I think she's done this before.

Sounds like another dumb blonde!

I'm surprised she went with the dumb blond angle!

Grizzly's his name, sugar's his game!

Lynda Perry, Eden

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It was supposed to be the baby bear, but he had to wee-wee-wee all the way home!

Porridge seems a little trivial for a debate!

That reminds me!  That bimbo sister of yours is coming to visit!

Wow!  She's using the dumb-blond gambit!

Papa Bear?  I thought he was spayed a long time ago!

Mike Perry, Eden

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"Get ready for a bunch of e-mails asking for donations."

"Isn't he the one running for parks commissioner?"

"What axe could she have to grind at that young age?"

"He supports being able to fish without a license."

"He looks like a grizzled veteran at this."

"They keep saying 'too hot' or 'too cold', so I guess it's about climate change."

Bill Wallace

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"Ms. Locks, what is your stance on home invasion?"

"Mr. Poppa Bear, do you consider wolves to be suitable guard-dogs?"

"Does burglarizing creatures domains justify childhood hunger?"

Carlos D'Agostino, Greensboro

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"She'd try them all, including the Lincoln bed."

"I doubt the stock market would do well with him in office."

"I don't think either of them is just right."

"We'd have to lock up the White House with her in office."

"She'd have to try several approaches before she'd think one was just right."

"I'd feel sorry for her staff."

"He'd eat his staff alive."

"We'd hear a lot of howling and growling with him in office."

"She's blaming him for leaving the house unlocked."

"So it's a choice between a young woman and an old bear."

"I just can't bear it !"

"Her looks are deceptive."

"She portrays herself as innocent, but...."

"Since when do bears eat porridge ?"

Debra Watson, Eden

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I can’t bear to watch this

Just like Joe Biden- he came out of hibernation to be here

I always thought there were 3

The democrats are really digging deep for a candidate

I have a feeling Goldi will play the Trump card

Remember when you had hair like that ?

She’s having a bad hair day

Shouldn’t he be hibernating?

Shouldn’t he go back to Wall Street ?

The bear has been into the Grey Poupon big time

So, this is what it has come down to

It’s great to live in a democracy

Honey for everyone ?

Lee F Richmond, Jamestown

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If he says “bear with me” one more time, he’s lost my vote

Should she be allowed to call him Mr. Fuzzy Wuzzy?

I think her curls are wrapped too tight!

Patsy Sadler, Chino Valley, az

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#1:    "Look for the bare necessities,

           The simple bare necessities,

           Forget about your worries and your strife,

           I mean the bare necessities,

           Old Mother Nature's recipes,

That brings the bare necessities of life!"    ...with apologies to Terry Gilkyson and the Walt Disney Music Company.

#2:    "Why are they running?"

#3:    "Where are Mrs. Bear and little baby Bear?"

#4:    "Oh, yeah.  On the right, that's Candidate Bear.  Ted E. Bear!"

#5:    "Really?  They're arguing over porridge?"

#6:    "Oh, by the way.  What's porridge?"

#7:    "Let's all open our hymnals and sing, 'Gladly the Cross I Bear!"'

#8:    "That poor guy on the right.  He's just barely there!"

#9:    "It seems they let just anybody run for office these days!"

#10:    "Is it just me, or does the lady on the left seem better suited for Animal Control?"

#11:    "The bear made a good point when he said, 'Only you can prevent wildfires!'"

#12:    "Oh!  This is more than I can just bear!"

#14:    "Tell me.  What's the first thing you think when I say, 'Don't think of a bear!"'

Paul J. Klosterman, High Point

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This could have been amazing.  !f only he had a larynx!

Mike Perry

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“A porridge in every pot?”

Tim Tribbett

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“She’ll win the freeloader vote.”

Tim Tribbett

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“He’s more of a pander bear.”

Tim Tribbett

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“I’ve never heard a socialist focus so much on porridge sharing.”

Tim Tribbett

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“I’m just watching for the inevitable mauling.”

Tim Tribbett

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“He’s more of a pander bear.”

Tim Tribbett

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“Bear market? I can’t believe she went there.”

Tim Tribbett

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“I hope Goldilocks wins, otherwise I won’t be able to bear it.”

Randy Thrasher, Durham

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"We need 'just rights' for all and we'll get the bears to pay for it!"

Larry Parrish,  San Diego

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“I can bearly understand them.”

“Who cares if it was too hard.”

“Everybody is entering the democratic race.”

“Of course he does it in the woods.”

Phil Valla, Greensboro

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She wanted a 5 p.m. debate. he wanted a 9.  So here we are at 7, which apparently was "just right!"

Mike Perry, Eden

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"We need 'just rights' for all and we'll get the bears to pay for them!"

Larry Parrish, San Diego

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"I guess maybe he really IS smarter than the average bear."

"Honey, I know that you are self-conscious about this, but I think the right to bear arms that he is talking about is Different from yours."

"No Hun... not BARE arms!

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

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"Where is this Jelly Stone Park that they seem to be agreeing upon saving?"

"Not hibernation; & No, not migration... they're talking about Immigration!"

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

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"I just don't think he should have told a Blond joke!"

"Ooh, I just think the comment about the Panda Bear was a little TOO black and white."

"So why WAS she sleeping in one of their beds??"

"Well... why is she mentioning a Boo Boo at All?"

"So She is agreeing that it's a Jungle out there??"

"Does EVERYone know that she sleeps around?!"

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

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1) He's clearly out of touch, where has he been hibernating?

2) What she is saying is almost like a fairy tale. 

3) I agree, the future does look Grimm. 

4) Looks like the Sleuth Party has found their candidate.

5) Do you feel embearassed?

        I can bearly stay awake.

6) He does speak with dramatic paws. 

7) I don't want to know what skeletons he has in his closet.

8) I like her, but can bearly understand him.

9) I read about these two.  He won the debate the first time they met.

10) How long can they talk about porridge? What about more important things like chairs or bed comfort or home security?

Brady Rosenbluth, Greensboro

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"So these two Write-In candidates REALLY got more votes than both Trump AND Bernie?!"

"I didn't think that she was born in the United States."

"I don't think that she was born in the United States.

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

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Something about some poridge.

Well, it’s better than the debates that we have been watching.

Joey Pellino, Reidsville

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THIS WEEK’S JOY “WALKS INTO A BAR” (and other) JOKES

A polar bear walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer

The barman says $18 please.

The polar bear pays and takes a seat.

Bemused, the barman approaches and says "this is exciting - we don't get many polar bears in here!",

 to which the polar bear replies: "I'm not surprised with beer at $18 a pint."

Mike Perry, Eden

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A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and ... cola."

"Why the big pause?" Asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. "Im not sure; I was born with them."

Mike Perry, Eden

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Three blondes are walking around. They suddenly stumble apron some tracks.

The first blonde says "those are deer tracks" the second blonde says "those are wolf tracks!"

 The third blonde says" no, those are bear tracks!"

And then the train hit them!

Mike Perry, Eden

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Goldilocks walks into a bar and sits down.  She starts to cry so the bartender says, “Why are you crying?”  She replies, “I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I’m down to my last two dollars.  I have no place to live and nothing to eat.”  The bartender says, “That’s too bad.  I guess you’ll just have to bear it.”

Roy Forrest

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer.  He says to the bartender, “I don’t know what kids are coming to these days.  I had this little blonde girl in my neighborhood who kept breaking into my house.  She would break in, eat my food, sleep in my bed and then sneak out when she heard me and the family come home.” The bartender says, “Wow, that must have been a real pain to have to deal with.”  The bears says, “It was, but I finally caught her.  I set a trap in the living room and baited it with a cell phone.  Worked like a charm.”

Roy Forrest

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BEST POEMS

Different Sides

We've all heard the story of the little girl lost;

wandered in the woods, then paths crossed.

Hungry and tired, having no energy to spare,

she chanced upon the house of three bears.

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The one called Papa now shares this stage;

a debate is in progress, and it's all the rage.

Many have come to hear this oratory battle;

it's on TV screens from New York to Seattle.

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There are thorny issues they need to solve;

it is a situation that has continued to evolve.

They decided to appear in this public venue

to determine if her motives were bad or true.

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The twists and turns of this trespassing tale

are fresh in all memories, it never gets stale.

Chairs, porridge and beds are the elements

that pertain to tonight's hope of a settlement.

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For the final result, we'll have to stay tuned;

it seems the arbitration is potentially ruined.

This debate has unfortunately now clashed

with the show about a singer who's masked.

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Channels are changing, interest goes down;

people crave a crooner dressed as a clown.

Goldilocks and Papa bear are like old news;

viewers are wrapped up in the identity clues.

Bill Wallace

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Talking Points

Goldilocks and Poppa Bear are in a debate;

he's very upset over something that she ate.

She strolled into his house, made a big tour;

snuck a nap after sampling the soup de jour.

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He no longer feels secure in his rural home;

is seeking total solitude and to be left alone.

He's haunted by an image stuck in his head

after finding this human sleeping in his bed.

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Because of the trauma, he's now in therapy;

trying to forget, but for now it's wait and see.

Goldie feels remorse, denies she's to blame;

she was tired and hungry, lured to the flame.

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She cites her efforts at trying to render help,

giving the accommodations 5 stars on Yelp.

But those kind kudos only brought in more;

lots of them are nasty, many of them snore.

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To eliminate the stress and his sanity save,

he's gone underground and lives in a cave.

He hopes public opinion will be on his side;

being in a fairy tale makes it harder to hide.

Bill Wallace

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Goldilocks and the bear debate,

But not about injustice, inequity, or hate.

       But whether or not

       The porridge was too hot,

And how much Goldilocks ate

Roy Forrest, Whitsett

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In this year full of constant campaigning,

Accusations, slung mud and complaining,

        A debate which is where

       Goldilocks and a bear

Would square off would be more entertaining.

Ken Sheldon, Elon

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Goldilocks and one of the bears

Went on a debate and it went primetime, but nobody cared

Goldilocks said “What are we gonna do?”

The bear said “That’s the last time I’m going to debate with you.”

Joey Pellino, Reidsville

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Debates are fun and people like to share

But when you have one with a little girl and a bear

You get confused

And feel like you’ve been used.

Joey Pellino, Reidsville

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BEST INSIDE JOKE

If he had loaded that porridge up with Grey Poupon we wouldn’t be here.

Roy Forrest, Whitsett

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The bear has been into the Grey Poupon big time

Lee F Richmond, Jamestown

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Last week, Facebook and Twitter and all of them were having a drink and talking about this.

That’s why social media had a drinking party last week.

Joey Pellino, Reidsville

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BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE

"He's smarter than your average bear."

Bill Wallace

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"Where is this Jelly Stone Park that they seem to be agreeing upon saving?"

CC  Cockerham, Greensboro

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BEST/WORST PUNS

“He’s more of a pander bear.”

Tim Tribbett

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"Let's all open our hymnals and sing, 'Gladly the Cross I Bear!"'

Paul J. Klosterman, High Point

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He does speak with dramatic paws. 

Brady Rosenbluth, Greensboro

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BEST EARWORMS

#1:    "Look for the bare necessities,

           The simple bare necessities,

           Forget about your worries and your strife,

           I mean the bare necessities,

           Old Mother Nature's recipes,

That brings the bare necessities of life!"

...with apologies to Terry Gilkyson and the Walt Disney Music Company.

Paul J. Klosterman, High Point

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